Posts filed under ‘Thinking’

He Would Be 15

What I should be doing today is making the Birthday Boy his b-day breakfast, maybe some pancakes with a few candles poking out the top, with some juice and any of his other favorites on the side and either have it waiting for him on the kitchen table or serve it to him in bed.

But I can’t.

I can’t because I don’t know what his favorites are.  

This is something I have to live with on a daily basis.  All of these unanswered questions that a parent should know about their kids.  The simple things I will never, ever know.

I wonder about the small things all the time.  What would he look like?  How tall would he be?  Would he have a girlfriend?  What would his voice sound like?  Would he be one of those kids who aren’t afraid to tell their Mother’s they love them in front of their friends?  I would like to think he would be.  How big would his hugs be now?  

Oh, his hugs.  How I miss them.  His hugs always made me feel like it really was going to be ok.

What I wouldn’t do for another one of his wonderful hugs.  Only this time, I’d be sure to never let go.

I want to wish Mikey a Happy 15th Birthday today!

I love you more than words can say.

Loving you always,

Mommy.

For those of you who don’t know the full story and care to, you can read it all Here

October 21, 2008 at 2:16 am 3 comments

I’m Not Much Of A Cheerleader Today

I woke up today feeling more blue than usual.  There is a huge sadness hovering over me and I just don’t feel right.  It almost feels as though I am carrying other peoples sadness on top of my own, but there is no one else around me except for my kids – and they aren’t sad.

I have had this happen to me before.  It’s a heavy, hollow feeling in my chest, accompanied by a sharp stab to the heart at the mere thought of whatever is causing the sadness.  My body feels as though someone is literally riding on my shoulders, trying to pull my soul out of the top of my head to get my attention.  It’s similar to the feeling you get when you are going up in an elevator really, really fast, only there is actually a presence there with you.

One would think that I am too far from my family right now (who live in B.C.) be feeling their pain and grief as strongly as I am, if that is even what I am feeling.  If it is, I can only imagine what my body will be like when I see them in person.

I am also experiencing something else I haven’t had in a very long time.  These last few days, almost every time I close my eyes, I see my Uncle’s face.  I see him as he used to look, not as I saw him last.  He is smiling and happy, which is obviously good, but it’s throwing me for a bit of a loop.  Is it just my subconscious remembering him or IS it him letting me know he’s okay?  I have had many people in my life pass away, but none that have done this to me before – to this extent.  Either way, I am welcoming it with open arms.  If he is actually coming to me and has something to say, I want to hear him and be able to pass the message along.

Only, I don’t think it’s just my Uncle.  I feel more than one spirit surrounding me.

I am not too sure right now how to react to the feeling I have, so I will just wait and see where the day takes me.  It’s going to be another hot day (+30℃) and I know that’s not going to help lift my spirits any, especially with having to get things ready to head out of town on Saturday.

I will see if some music will help take my mind of this heaviness.

I am bluer than blue.

July 3, 2008 at 1:26 pm 2 comments

The Return Of Curious George

Gee, for someone who isn’t religious, I sure like to talk about it, huh?  

I am a very open minded person and I do not judge when it comes to things like this.  I, for one am not religious and in a few days you will become more familiar as to why that is.

I am just curious and want to ask others regardless of religions or beliefs, what do you believe in and why?

April 8, 2008 at 5:48 pm 2 comments

I Smell A Lawsuit!

They say Cheese Whiz adds personality.  Well, I’ve been consuming the stuff for years and NOTHING!

I want my money back!  I want compensation for all the years of believing a lie!

I need a hug!

April 8, 2008 at 12:00 am 2 comments

In Case You Care…

I wish it were raining right now so I can go outside and jump barefoot in the puddles.

April 4, 2008 at 3:09 pm 1 comment

Compromise Is The New Black

How does one go about appreciating something when there are flaws due to pure laziness attached?  Is it just me, or is that actually hard to do with a smile on your face?

 

For example, emptying the garbage and taking it out.  One empties the garbage but leaves a path of destruction behind for me to clean up.  Is that really necessary?  Do I really look like I have nothing else better to do during the day?

 

Things get moved, but not put back.  Food boxes opened, but never closed again.  By the way, all of these magically happen in the middle of the night by a bunch of gnomes.  I’m not kidding, they do!  (I have pictures)  

 

Oh Wow, how the list can go on. 

 

What mainly gets me is the half-assed attempts at ‘helping’.  Washing dishes also includes wiping the counters when you’re done instead of leaving puddles all over the place.  It also helps to spread the dish towel out to dry properly, not clump it in the corner somewhere for me to find three days later smelling like a sweaty gym sock.  When you make yourself something to eat, wipe the crumbs up off the counter instead of trying to blame it on the cat.  It’s been a very long time since she’s jumped up on the counter and made a peanut butter and jam sandwich without cleaning up after herself.

 

Seriously though, how hard is it to tidy up after yourself?  You don’t need a special degree to make this happen.  I mean have all those lessons in elementary school to tidy up after yourself just evaporate from the brain?  I am far from a neat freak.  I like my home to look lived in, but I also like it clean.  

 

I don’t think some people get that a Stay-At-Home-Parent gets just as frustrated when their workspace is tampered with by someone.  Would those in the work place enjoy a co-worker coming over to their area, take something, make a mess and just simply walk away?  I don’t think so.  It’s not like we SAHP’s don’t work hard to keep things clean and organized.  We have a job to do as well.  We may not get paid money for our job, but it’s hard and stressful all the same.  Not just that, but we don’t get to leave our ‘work’ at work.  Our work IS our home.  We don’t have assigned coffee and lunch breaks or days off for that matter.

 

So, if I am to cut you some slack after your hard day at work and not throw the kids at you while I run to another room to yank out the remaining three hairs from my head, you can cut me some as well by cleaning up after yourself.

 

I think that’s fair, don’t you?

March 11, 2008 at 3:35 pm 1 comment

She’s Mean!

Mother Nature is teasing me.  

 

It was supposed to be +2 and sunny.  It is not.  It is overcast (which I don’t mind) and windy causing all the snow to be tossed about from tree to tree.  Ugh.

 

I was hoping to be able to have my windows open and enjoy a nice breeze while I drink my coffee in my big comfy chair, but no, that will have to wait until tomorrow.  It’s supposed to be something along the lines of +6 tomorrow, but I’m not holding my breath for that one.

 

I guess I will spend this afternoon cleaning house and making crafts.

March 6, 2008 at 12:45 pm Leave a comment

Older Posts


Twitter Me This…Twitter Me That

I’ve Been Published!!!

May not seem like a big deal to most, but it is to me! Look under Calgary Zoo and scroll with the side arrows until you reach the Elephants. Calgary Zoo

~A Word From Your Friendly Photographer~

For all Photography on this blog: All Rights Reserved© - J.D Photography, unless otherwise stated. Images may not be used for any purpose without my written permission or I will be forced to THROW YOU!

My Photo Blog

I have taken some of my favorite photos and posted them here for easy viewing. Enjoy! J.D. Photography

My Flickr Photos

More Photos

Previously...

Top Posts

May 2017
S M T W T F S
« Feb    
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  

It’s All In Here

Blog Stats

  • 52,730 hits

RSS Edmonton’s Weather

  • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.

Rate My Blog

Sun/Moon Rise & Set

Click for Edmonton, Alberta Forecast