Shhh…Quiet Please, I Can’t Hear You

February 19, 2008 at 2:01 pm 3 comments



I am trying to figure out a way to find my inner peace and quiet.  My brain is cluttered, there are so many things going on in there all at once and I am having a hard time finding silence.  I have tried meditation, but I just can’t seem to find the solid time to do it.


The thing most would find weird about it all is that I don’t live a fast paced lifestyle, I don’t have a bunch of places to be at and my days aren’t chalked full of events, other than chasing kids and the normal household chores.  I have other stresses in my life that seem to keep my brain in the ON position and it is seriously becoming too much.


It is very difficult for me to be able to find time to do what I want to do without constant distractions and disturbances. Frankly, I am getting a little sick and tired of having to wait until 3am to maybe have a half hour to myself.  That just isn’t enough time to do anything and most nights that doesn’t even happen as the kids tend to wake up 3-4 times a night.


Insomnia doesn’t help either.  I do not have a proper sleep schedule, nor have I ever.  I am a night owl and have been since I can remember.  I can wake up early in the morning if I have to, but would rather catch as many z’s as I possibly can when I have two young kids to chase after.  I have seen doctors concerning the insomnia, taken prescribed and over the counter sleep aids, tried alternative methods and none of them have worked.  I have stayed off the caffeine (YIKES), avoided any afternoon naps and I was still unable to sleep properly.  


There is constant noise around me at all times.  Even when the kids are in bed and I mute or turn off the TV, I can still hear noise.  It just doesn’t seem to go away.  Ringing in my ears, buzzing in my brain, bright, strange shapes and colors that resemble a kaleidoscope when I close my eyes, it’s never ending.


Then there are the voices.  Most days they are mumbles or whispers and I can’t make out what they are saying with the odd days where they either talk in a rather strange, loud tone or yell and scare the crap out of me.  It’s the same feeling as someone popping out from around the corner and yelling BOO!  But no one is around you.


I dream when I’m asleep.  I dream when I’m awake.  It’s non-stop and I just wish I could figure out what it is.  It would really help if I were able to understand what this is or why it’s happening.


If only I could reach far enough up my nose to flip the switch to the OFF position when I want some quiet, I’d be a tad bit happy.


Entry filed under: Daily, Dreams, Health, In Case You Care, Insomnia, Life, Me, Photography, Photos, Rants, Unexplained.

Seasons, They Are A Changing How To Annoy Me

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Hules  |  February 19, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    My Inner Peace Button is apparently defective. Not only do I hear ya on this post – but you let me know if you find a way to get to that switch, bcuz I am down with that and we can then go celebrate with mocha chillers. And it will be all good. =)

    PS. Dig the new header.

  • 2. cheekybuddha  |  February 19, 2008 at 11:44 pm


    Well, I’ve tried Q-Tips, but they don’t reach that far, fingers are out as they are too fat to fit all the way up my nose and I don’t have access to a Lobotomy tool.


  • 3. Hules  |  February 19, 2008 at 11:56 pm

    Well, whenever the docs test for a pituitary tumor in me, the Endo always told me that they would try to remove it through my nose first – LOL – so I could always have him flip on the switch while he’s up there, should one appear. Then I will just steal his surgical tools when no one is looking and I will operate on you. It will be just like piercing your ears with a needle and a potato. Just like it.


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