Right, Wrong Or Understandable. You Decide.

December 29, 2007 at 1:31 am 3 comments

Out of curiosity, how many of you out there would start dating someone barely a month after your spouse died suddenly?  Now, I don’t know the full story to all this and probably never will. All of this information was gathered from both of their personal blogs, and as we all know, not everything that is personal is mentioned to the public.  All I know is they were married for 3 years, trying to have kids and they were in the middle of building a new home. There wasn’t any mention of troubles in the marriage, however, she was known to have bouts of depression (for whatever reason).

Rumor has it she committed suicide. When he announced the news of her death, he never mentioned how she died or even gave a hint. I found out how through a group blog she was a part of.  He hasn’t done a whole lot of talking about her since she passed either and it seems his friends are supporting the whole dating thing.  I also read on his blog that he started crushing on New Girl a month before his wife died and shortly after her death, told his friends that he would like to go on a date with New Girl.  The date happened a month after his wife’s death.  New Girl also knew his wife and blogged a little about her death.

Now, I am a tad confused not knowing the whole story, but personally I think dating someone that soon after is a little odd. It’s not like this was just a break-up, a divorce or something expected. Even if it was expected, give yourself some time to heal and deal with what happened. Now, I know there is the whole “fall down, get back up” thing, or all the other cliches that come with tragedy, but please. Whatever happened to the respect aspect of it all? I’m not saying that he shouldn’t date period, just give yourself a few months. Don’t fall under the pressure of rejoining the ‘real world’ just because everyone else sick of seeing you grieve. Believe me, I was there and it sucked. Needless to say, those people aren’t your friends if they can’t be bothered to hold you up for once and for however long you need.

I could go on for a while about this one, but will save it for another time.Now, I am trying to not pass judgment because I really don’t know what family life was like and what happened behind closed doors. It’s just that something doesn’t sit right with me.  Maybe her suicide was a weight lifted off his shoulders?  Maybe her depression was difficult to live with?

The people in her group made her sound like she was a great friend, giving, caring, super talented, very much loved and in love.

I am interested in hearing what the rest of you think. If you’ve been through something similar, what did you do? I won’t even ask ‘what would you do’ because in all fairness, it’s not something that can be answered until it happens. You can say one thing now and have it be something completely different once that time comes.

We will be approaching the second anniversary of her Death in February and not long after that, Boy and New Girl will be married.


Entry filed under: Daily, In Case You Care, Life, People, Plagiarizing From Myself, Rants, Secrets, Thoughts.

Argh! Thinking

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. hules  |  December 29, 2007 at 1:55 am

    Obviously I know exactly who you are talking about.

    Ok – Christmas 2005, there were pictures of them ALL together at a party. Wife and boy just met New Girl through mutual friends. There were pictures of them all sitting side by side. Wife passes away early Feb. 1.5 months later, boy says he has been reading New Girl’s blog for sometime and is interested and would like to meet her, so gets those mutual friends to set them up and pretends that he never met her before. Well, they had already met back at Christmas, as New Girl made that clear. And New Girl posted about wife’s death on her blog. So it’s all fucked up, if you ask me. As you know, a friend of mine was also a friend of wife’s, and she had said before that she & wife would discuss TTC stuff, as wife & boy were trying to conceive at the time of her death.

    I do not claim for this to be any of my business and I know there is a ton of facts we do not know about, but it has been blogged a lot and I have read, so I can say that to me, it’s all suspect and I call bullshite on New Girl and boy. And how screwed up are these friends that “introduced them” and then 1.5 months after wife’s death, fixes them up at another party they hosted. She had said to both boy & New Girl that she just wants them to be happy. Yet, the month of wife’s death, said friend blogged about all the unanswered questions about the death and what was going through wife’s mind when she chose to end her life. If anything, said friend is just another guilty party.

    And what drives me insane is that new Girl and boy were engaged 3 months after wife’s death, but kept it quiet until December of last year.

    New Girl completely took over and replaced wife. And fast. My boyfriend. His family. My family. My dog, etc. I just feel bad for wife’s true friends and family who had to deal with boy replacing wife so fast.

    Depression can be so deadly, and this whole mess proves it. It also tells people that Depression, once taken to the extreme, can bring relief and happiness to those left behind. What kind of message does that send to the mental health community and sufferers alike? Photos and blog posts may not tell all, but they do not also lie. Boy & New Girl made their ‘newly’ found love extremely and painfully obvious.

    Happy & so in love with New Girl immediately after or not, boy – fucking fake it, would ya – and show some respect.

  • 2. cheekybuddha  |  December 29, 2007 at 2:11 am

    I wish his blog was still up and running as I would go back and look at some of the crap posts he left. However, New Girl still has hers.

    I wish his Wife’s blog was still around. However, I did check her old group blog and they have still remembered her, unlike him.

    To her so-called friends, it seems like she’s just forgotten, doesn’t it? Which makes me wonder if they were his friends to begin with?

    I feel for her, think about her often and wonder what she was going through.

    My thoughts are with her family. I often wonder how they are as well.

  • 3. hules  |  December 29, 2007 at 2:15 am

    They were his friends, as he was/is his boss. And as we both know, those friends are just floopy and loopy.

    I feel for all of them. He lost a young wife at his young age. I just hate hate how it all unfolded, especially afterwards. I hope her (wife) friends and family took the time to grieve and eventually – will heal some. Not completely, but to some level.

    As for New Girl – well, but judging by her blog before and after – it’s always been about her wants and needs. Everyone else comes later.


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