I have been stressed out by so many little things, my brain just doesn’t know what to do with itself anymore.  I am supposed to be a human calendar remembering not only my own stuff, but everyone else’s too.  To-Do Lists are literally shooting out my ass, I have so many going on in multiple places so I don’t forget and guess what?  I FORGET!  My days would be much more productive and less complicated if I would be allowed an hour of silence to I can organize my brain.

Will that ever happen?  Doubtful, but I continue to be optimistic, as hard as it might be and try my best to make it so.

Another huge stressor is no one but me knows how to clean and tidy up.  I am constantly “reminding” the males in this house to clean up after themselves and to stop leaving crap all over the place thinking I will get sick of seeing it there and clean it myself.  That and the inability to lend a helping hand around the house with other things.  I am beyond tired of watching all 3 of them kick things out of their way or jam it in a shelf thinking it’s all good and put away.  So in the end, naturally I’m the one doing it all anyway.

So, what’s a girl to do?  Curl up into a ball and have a much needed meltdown.  Since my voice has become nothing more than a whisper in a crowded room, it feels as though I have no other option.

But I can’t.

I can’t because I don’t know what his favorites are.  

This is something I have to live with on a daily basis.  All of these unanswered questions that a parent should know about their kids.  The simple things I will never, ever know.

I wonder about the small things all the time.  What would he look like?  How tall would he be?  Would he have a girlfriend?  What would his voice sound like?  Would he be one of those kids who aren’t afraid to tell their Mother’s they love them in front of their friends?  I would like to think he would be.  How big would his hugs be now?  

Oh, his hugs.  How I miss them.  His hugs always made me feel like it really was going to be ok.

What I wouldn’t do for another one of his wonderful hugs.  Only this time, I’d be sure to never let go.

I want to wish Mikey a Happy 15th Birthday today!

I love you more than words can say.

Loving you always,

Mommy.

For those of you who don’t know the full story and care to, you can read it all Here

You know, it is beyond frustrating when no one will listen to you.  It’s as if you are some foreign being from another planet trying your very best to communicate with the people around you, but they all look at you as if you are dressed in a huge pink tutu with a clown wig on your head, wearing hightop sneakers and feel like they can’t take you seriously.  It doesn’t matter what comes out of your mouth, they laugh at you anyway and shrug off whatever it was you said.

I’m telling you, I need to get me a bunch of those Universal Translators the characters from Star Trek wore so I can pin them on all those who shrug me off so now they have NO excuse.

However, that will never happen.

I suppose my repeating myself over and over again will have to be what happens until I either snap or they actually make those translators.

However, while in one slump I came out of another. I am finally being creative again with my card making and crafts, so that’s a bonus. It’s just finding the time to sit down for a bit to get those creative juices flowing. Between the hubby, kids, constant noise and the voices chattering in my head… I’m surprised I still have hair. My sanity on the other hand is still in question. It’s just really hard to think when there is constant noise.

I am also sooooo behind with commenting on other blogs. Just so you know, I do peek at them and I have things to say. I will do my best to get caught up with everyone.

I just thought I’d pop in and say HI! I also want to let you know that there will be a guest blogger playing on here every now and then as well. I will let her introduce herself.

Until then, I hope everyone has a great day!

~Cheeky

P.S. I want to wish my Dad (who doesn’t read this) a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! xoxo

As a parent and someone who has lost a child, I am still at a loss for words.  I just know that Olli will be deeply missed by his family and friends.  Especially his Mother, Father and younger brother, Juho.

My heart goes out to the Markkanen family.

He came into the world a little earlier than expected (he was due on the 25th) but is a happy, healthy little boy!  My sister is doing great and my brother-in-law is happier than anything to have a boy.

My niece, Colby will make a great big sister!

Can’t wait to see them again tomorrow!

I was watching Ellen yesterday and she shared video of their day.  It was so beautiful.

I am excited to dig into my bag and binders of notes I recovered from my parents and share some of my silly teenage years of loving and crushing on a multitude of boys.  I was a geek in school, so my crushes were just that.  Crushes.  So you’ll have to bear with me and my life as a dullard.

So once I get my arse in gear and finish my Vegas post, I will get on the note reading and reporting as well as hop on your blogs and comment.

R.I.P. George.  You will be missed!