He Would Be 15
October 21, 2008
What I should be doing today is making the Birthday Boy his b-day breakfast, maybe some pancakes with a few candles poking out the top, with some juice and any of his other favorites on the side and either have it waiting for him on the kitchen table or serve it to him in bed.
But I can’t.
I can’t because I don’t know what his favorites are.
This is something I have to live with on a daily basis. All of these unanswered questions that a parent should know about their kids. The simple things I will never, ever know.
I wonder about the small things all the time. What would he look like? How tall would he be? Would he have a girlfriend? What would his voice sound like? Would he be one of those kids who aren’t afraid to tell their Mother’s they love them in front of their friends? I would like to think he would be. How big would his hugs be now?
Oh, his hugs. How I miss them. His hugs always made me feel like it really was going to be ok.
What I wouldn’t do for another one of his wonderful hugs. Only this time, I’d be sure to never let go.
I want to wish Mikey a Happy 15th Birthday today!
I love you more than words can say.
Loving you always,
Mommy.
For those of you who don’t know the full story and care to, you can read it all Here
Entry Filed under: Birthday, Celebrate, Childhood, Daily, Death, Emotions, Family, Happy Birthday, Heartbreak, Kids, Life, Links, Loss, Me, Memories, Organization, Pain, People, Photography, Photos, Plagiarizing From Myself, R.I.P., Reality Bites, Relationships, Sad, Thinking, Thoughts, Tragic. Tags: Birthday, Child, Death, Happy Birthday, Loss, Love, M.A.D.D, Mikey, Pain, R.I.P..
3 Comments Add your own
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <pre> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed
1.
stormyblogger | October 21, 2008 at 2:49 am
That sweet little face is one I’ll never forget. And it’s amazing how much his hands look like yours. I’m glad we were able to chat tonight about his first introduction to our family (insert Ukrainian last name here) Christmas. It’s just so unfair he is not here to roll his eyes with us at the fluff that can go on during those crazy holiday gatherings.
Nothing will ever make this senseless tragedy right, and I know that your heart will never be the same. Just know that you have those around you (myself included) who will forever love you and will continue to laugh, cry, and most of all, remember, with you.
You have allowed Mikey’s death to send a message to our communities that drinking and driving is the ultimate crime that happens to be the most preventable one, and what a gift you have given. I hope you see that. The work you and your mum have done with PAID/REID and now MADD is really a testament to your love for your son.
You have been a wonderful mother since the moment the first ‘cookie’ show occurred, and you will always be a wonderful mum. Nathan & Lucas are healthy, curious, intelligent, creative, happy, humorous and loving little boys and while you will never be 100% whole again, I know that your love for them is complete. As it is with Mikey’s.
Mikey ~ Happy 15th!
xoxoxoxoxo
2.
romach | October 29, 2008 at 5:16 am
Ah bless, hes so cute! I hope you had a wonderful birthday.
3.
Eiain | November 1, 2008 at 2:52 am
It’s sad and very painful to loose a loved one, especially if the one you loose is a child.
You say you don’t know what his favorite are, or if he would have a girlfriend etc, but you do know the answers. I believe that when someone passes away they stay exactly the way all your great memories have them. His favorites are the same now as they were on his 4th birthday, his hugs are just as comforting, he looks the same, and most of all his love for you is still as huge. The only thing that has changes is that he watches over you now and keeps you safe.
Love you to, and Happy Birthday Mikey x